Waiting On The Neurologist

Well, I stopped taking the Cyclosporine last night. I didn't take the PM dose and I feel SO. MUCH. BETTER. Oh my WORD. I felt like I was being poisoned. Doug said I might have to feel that way. I said, Um, Nope. I know my body and I know what's NOT working.

I have to say thank you for all the beautiful comments and e-mails...I love to encourage others, but it's hard to encourage myself sometimes, ya know? You guys gave me so much encouragement....your beautiful words did not fall on deaf ears. I heard them. I felt them. I appreciated them so much... and all of YOU! Thank you.

I am not going to stop taking all my meds, no worries. I did however, as I said, stop taking the cyclosporine, and feel like a different person already. I called the neurologist to find out what the next step will be. Don't know what that's going to be, but I can tell you it's not going to be cyclosporine! : )

Thanks again for being on my team, friends. For being my cheerleaders. My heart is mending!

What is Failure?

If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you.You may have a fresh start any moment you choose,for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down.-Mary Pickford

Sometimes I catch myself...."I feel like such a failure."

Usually it's when Jacob needs something I can't give him (physically), or my house is a mess and I just don't have the energy to clean it (like now!) Since we've been home from Florida, it's been a nightmare. The night we got home, Doug got sick. He was down for a week. So after taking care of my very sick Jacob for the last week of vacation, Doug gets a bug. So I'm already exhausted from Jacob, thinking I can get a break now because he's healthy and he'll want Doug more. Oooooh no. Doug is down and out, so not only do I have Jacob 100%, I have Doug to try to take care of. Then I get a cold. No surprise there, I suppose. Coughing then pops a rib out of place. Now THAT'S pain, my friends.

All I can say is (1). Thank GOD we weren't all sick at once. Seriously. Can you imagine????
(2) Thank GOD for Dr. Lu (my chiropractor), (3) Thank GOD for dear friends and family who helped Doug and I out with Jacob when my back went out, and (4) Thank GOD He gave me a fighting spririt.

When I read that quote this morning, it really encouraged me! I thought, well, I guess I can never really fail then, because I just don't have it in me to "stay down". God gave me spunk, that's for sure. So that same tenable spirit that enabled me to fight when I was physically dying is the same one that's keeping me going now.

That same obnoxious, bumptious attitude I had when I was younger that really annoyed some of my teachers and probably my parents, is the same fortitude with which I now fight my battles.

So I can say this to you my friends. I will not fail. If failure means lying down and giving in, I promise you that will never happen. I just don't have it in me. And I have God to thank for that, because that's the way He made me. He knew I would have this battle to fight later in life, and He gave me all that I needed to fight it from the moment I was conceived.

I could NOT do it alone, however. I need His strength to resupply that tenacity when I'm running low. I need my husband and son to encourage and love me through the hard times. And I need YOU, dear friends, to continue to spur me on, to pray, and to just be there. Thank you for that.

So I say to this day, to this week, to this life: BRING IT!