Intrinsic

"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for a reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed."  Albert Einstein

Americans, in my humble opinion, embody this quote.  

"What's in it for me?"

"What will happen to me if I don't?"

Isn’t that what we hear most often from our children?  Sadly, adults are following suit. I wonder…

How many people would file taxes if they KNEW there was no punishment for not filing?

How many people would go to work if they didn't get paid?

What happened to a good, solid work ethic? Putting in a hard day’s work for the sake of doing a good job?

How many people go to church because they are afraid not to?  Either afraid of being judged, or afraid of God's wrath. I grew up in a church like that.  As long as your butt was in the seat, you had fire insurance, if you know what I mean.  And if you weren't there, you better be out of state or dying.  {And I'm not saying don't go to church, I'm just using this as an example to get to my point.}

This is my question:  what ever happened to intrinsic value? 

The Merriam-Webster dictionary has a wonderful definition of intrinsic: “belonging to the essential nature of a thing: occurring as a natural part of something.”  Like breathing.  It’s just part of you.

Intrinsic.  Indwelling. Deep-rooted. Organic.  That “thing” inside that tells you the right thing to do.  Just because it’s right.

When did everything become about getting something in return, or doing something just to avoid punishment or repercussion of some kind?  Whatever happened to doing the right thing just to do the right thing?  Or being kind for the sake of being kind?

What about our relationships with God?  Do we “use” Him to get things?  Are we only interested in His blessings, but not willing to walk in obedience? Do we “love” Him so that He won’t be angry at us or throw a bolt of lightning our way?

“I led them with cords of human kindness,
    with ties of love.
To them I was like one who lifts
    a little child to the cheek,
    and I bent down to feed them.” Hosea 11:4

Our God is so loving and good to us. He doesn’t withhold His kindness or blessings from us even though we deserve none of them!  Our Father’s only motive is love.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
    I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3b

I have a challenge to everyone who reads this:  do something kind “just because”. The whole "commit random acts of kindness" and "pay it forward" clichés have been around for a while.  But seriously, when is the last time that you did something nice for someone else, just to do it? Not because you wanted anything from them or because you felt you owed them something. Just because.

Do you have an elderly neighbor who is alone 90% of the time?  Go visit.  Take your kids.  Your children would be learning history from one who has lived it, and your neighbor would be filled with joy. We can learn more from one hour talking to older folks and asking them to tell us about their lives than we could in a month of history books.

Do you know someone who had a recent illness or injury?  Ask if you can clean their house. Bring a meal over to them.

Is someone at church looking for a babysitter?  Volunteer your time. Just because it’s the right thing to do.

³⁴ “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ Matthew 25:34-36

Why I Fight So Hard

"If you want to build a ship, don't herd people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea." -Antoine De Saint-Exupery

One thing I have learned about being chronically ill is that I can spout off facts and figures til I'm blue in the face, but unless I get people to CARE, it doesn't matter. That’s one reason why I’m so open about my health, about my struggles, and about my feelings. 

I have put videos on youtube where I have bed-head and not a stitch of make up on (and this from a girl who used to not even walk out to the mailbox without makeup on!).  I am willing to embarrass myself and talk about things that 10 years ago I wouldn't even whisper about.

Why?

Because I want people to UNDERSTAND.  I don't want to order them around and tell them to give money or walk for a cure or any other thing to do.  I want them to "long for" people with chronic illness and develop compassion and caring for their fellowman.  I want people to truly FEEL for people who are, in some way, “the least of these.”

If you’ve read anything I’ve written you might come to the conclusion that I tend to “harp” on this issue.  Matthew 25.  Feeding the hungry.  Clothing the naked.  Visiting the sick and imprisoned.  As a friend of mine always says, “It’s all about the widows and orphans.”  That about sums it up, doesn’t it? It really isn't rocket science.

So, do I harp on this issue? You'd better believe it. I'll harp on it until the day I die. If it does no good for me in this lifetime, I'm okay with that. But I may be helping someone out there somewhere who reads this and decides they need to start helping folks out a bit more.

Some of us with chronic illness are weak and tired, in pain, just plain suffering.  I know there are reasons that I may never understand. And I’m okay with that.  God is in control, and He’s got me in the palm of His hand. His plans are so much better than mine...so it's all Him for me.

However, none of my responsibilities go away. I have zero energy on some days.  It’s all I can do to get out of bed.  I have friends who CAN’T get out of bed on their own.  It doesn't matter if I don't feel good. I still have a child to take care of, and things that need to get done. I can't just curl up in a ball and let the world go on its merry way.

Call me a hopeless optimist.  I just have to believe there is more to people.  That there is better out there than the latest examples I’ve seen of “humanity.” That people can love and be decent to one another.  If I didn't have that to hang my hat on, I'd have a hard time holding my head up at all. 

“Carry each others' burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ….⁹ Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. ¹⁰ Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” Galatians 6:2,9-10

An Old Post That Fits Like A Glove

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Busy, busy, busy

Ya know, I can't believe how much people take on. It's like the busiest, most exhausted person wins! But wins what? Lost relationships? An ulcer? No sleep? I have to admit, I use to be a busy person. My illness slowed me way, way, WAY down. TOO "way down" if you ask me. But it really makes me treasure what's important. I guess if there's one thing I'm thankful for by having a chronic illness is that I try not to take important things for granted. I ask myself.... Will this matter 10 years from now? It may matter an HOUR from now, but does it have ANY lasting value? If something is important enough, you WILL find time for it.

Here's a big shocker, folks, hope you're sitting down. It's not a competition. If you get everything done on your list of 17 things to do today, but had no contact with a true friend, or helped no one, or didn't pass on a kindness to a stranger, then did today really matter? I KNOW I can't be the only person on the planet who genuinely cares about people, and will make time for what's really important. But that's the key. You have to MAKE time. My theory is, if it's important enough, you'll find time for it. You find time to watch your favorite program. You find time to eat dinner. You find time to go shopping. You find time to read a good book. You find time to ______. And I'm still preaching to the choir, because there are many times that I could spend with God, that I choose to do something else...watch TV, read, etc. We just have to prioritize.

Some folks genuinely have busy lives because they ARE taking care of others; a sick friend, an elderly parent, a down-on-their-luck neighbor. And bravo to you. But don't forget that even doing all these "Good Things" you can still be too busy.

In our world of immediate gratification, it is an important lesson to learn to slow down. I have had to by force. But it really has made me step back and see that so many of us are, or were, just like crazy little ants running around and going and going and going.....

So please. Take a minute to stop today. Stop and spend a few minutes in complete silence. Stop and spend a moment in prayer. Stop and drop a card in the mail for a friend, or a shut-in at church. Stop, and ask your pastor what you can do to help.

We area all in this so called life together, and we all need each other, whether you want to admit it or not.

The Cab Ride

Hey all...I got this in e-mail this morning. If you're like me, grab a tissue. This is so awesome.

Cab Ride

I arrived at the address and honked the horn.
after waiting a few minutes
I walked to the
door and knocked.. 'Just a minute', answered a
frail, elderly voice. I could hear something
being dragged across the floor.

After
a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in
her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a
print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned
on it, like somebody out of a 1940's
movie.

By her side was a small nylon
suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had
lived in it for years. All the furniture was
covered with sheets.

There were no
clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils
on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard
box filled with photos and
glassware.

'Would you carry my bag
out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase
to the cab, then returned to assist the
woman.

She took my arm and we walked
slowly toward the curb.

She kept
thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I
told her.. 'I just try to treat my passengers
the way I would want my mother to be
treated.'

'Oh, you're such a good
boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave
me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive
through downtown?'

'It's not the
shortest way,' I answered
quickly..

'Oh, I don't mind,' she
said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a
hospice.

I looked in the rear-view
mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have
any family left,' she continued in a soft
voice.. 'The doctor says I don't have very
long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the
meter.

'What route would you like me
to take?' I asked.

For the next two
hours, we drove through the city. She showed me
the building where she had once worked as an
elevator operator.

We drove through the
neighborhood where she and her husband had lived
when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in
front of a furniture warehouse that had once
been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a
girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow
in front of a particular building or corner and
would sit staring into the darkness, saying
nothing.

As the first hint of sun was
creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm
tired. Let's go now'.

We drove in
silence to the address she had given me. It was
a low building, like a small convalescent home,
with a driveway that passed under a
portico.

Two orderlies came out to
the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were
Solicitous and intent, watching her every move.
They must have been expecting her.

I
opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to
the door. The woman was already seated in a
wheelchair.

'How much do I owe you?'
She asked, reaching into her
purse.

'Nothing,' I
said

'You have to make a living,' she
answered.

'There are other
passengers,' I responded.

Almost
without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She
held onto me tightly.

'You gave an
old woman a little moment of joy,' she
said.
'Thank you.'

I squeezed her
hand, and then walked into the dim morning
light.. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound
of the closing of a life..

I didn't
pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove
aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that
day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had
gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient
to end his shift?
What
if I had refused to take the run, or had honked
once, then driven away?

On a quick
review, I don't think that I have done anything
more important in my life.

We're
conditioned to think that our lives revolve
around great moments.

But great
moments often catch us unaware-beautifully
wrapped in what others may consider a small
one.

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY
WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID ~BUT~THEY WILL
ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM
FEEL.

You won't get any big surprise
in 10 days if you send this to ten people. But,
you might help make the world a little kinder
and more compassionate by sending.
it on and
reminding us that often it is the random acts of
kindness that most benefit all of
us.

Thank you, my
friend...

Life
may not be the party we hoped for, but while we
are here...we might as well dance.

Gratitude

Ya know, we ALL have a lot to be thankful for. But I feel like this week, I have EXTRA blessings to be thankful for. First, for the people who have stepped up to help my family. What a blessing. The relief in knowing that some of our needs are going to be met right away is HUGE. Frankly, if it were just Doug and I, I would find a way to manage. Doug would be a bit more stressed out with cleaning and stuff, but since we have Jacob, I take a lot on myself.

I am homeschooling Jacob. To know that at times I will have people to come and clean my house, to know that if Doug is really late I can throw a decent, home-cooked meal in the freezer, to know that I can concentrate on my CHILD, being a MOM....I really can't describe what that means to me. The hardest thing about my illness is having to look into the big blue eyes of my precious baby boy and say, "Mommy's not feeling good today honey. I can't."

If I don't have to focus so much on worrying about how everything will be getting done, or waiting for Doug to get home so Jacob can get a little bit of attention...To just be able to focus on Jacob....it's bringing tears to my eyes.

Those that are helping us are doing FAR more than cleaning a bathroom or bringing a meal. They are allowing a family to spend time together. They are helping a husband and wife have some peace, and be able to reconnect, to talk without total exhaustion taking over.

A precious lady we don't know sent us $50.00 in the mail with a Valentine's Day card. What I really love too, is what this is doing for my husband. He is being encouraged!! Doug is by nature a skeptic. And a pessimist. (He would say realist... : ) Seeing these things happening, seeing people volunteer to help us, seeing an old grandma send money to 2 "kids" she doesn't know....it is renewing HIS heart as well. And for me to see THAT, now that's cool.

So again, from the bottom of my heart: thank you.

Wherever you are, won't you see if there's someone YOU can encourage today? Maybe it's a neighbor you haven't seen in a while. Maybe it's a cousin or aunt you haven't talked to in forever. Maybe it's the homeless guy on the corner you see every single day. What can YOU do? Serve at a soup kitchen for a meal? Help out at a homeless shelter? Help out at the Humane Society or Animal Rescue? What about someone in your church? Could they use a card just to say, Hey, I'm thinking about you?

I guess my point is that you don't have to go out and save the world. It's like the little boy walking along the beach that is filled with starfish. He's walking with his grandpa, stopping every foot or so to pick up one starfish and throw it back into the sea. His grandpa said, "What are you doing, son? You can't save 'em all." And the little boy looked at the one in his hand as he threw it back in and said, "No, but I can save this one."

How about you? Can you save one?

Alone in a Sea of Women "Just Like Me"

Joanna and I, well, let's face it, have not had great years. And we're not the kinds of people who gloss over issues for others comfort. Last night we went to a group of women meeting together. I got to see my friend Kim who I haven't seen forever. But I walk in with Jo, who has a FAB new do, by the way!!!, and just felt yuck. I was not feeling well to begin with.

But people who have known me for like 6,7,8 years were asking me what was wrong and if there was anything doctors could do about it. I was like, really? I have Myasthenia Gravis, remember?
Oh.....

Anyway, there was a sure highlight and the bit of a lowlight. The lowlight was a few women who spoke about how busy every one's lives are{check.} And that sometimes you just have to remember that not every one's problems are YOUR problems to fix or solve. Two women talked about the same thing. (Testimonial type thing.) And I really do get what they're saying. You can't take the burdens of the world on your shoulders. You can't MAKE some one's burden YOUR OWN. But where in the Bible does it say you don't need to help?

See, this is my frustration. This has been my frustration for 10 years now. I have had this illness for 10 years (well 15, but I was hospitalized 10 years ago...almost died, ect). The woman at that church that had been my best friend told me I was selfish to want help and I needed to repent. This was around the same time that I was so weak I actually fell. off. the. toilet. Yah. But darn my selfishness.

Bear with me a moment: the church I grew up in was not so great from a preaching-teaching standpoint (which is not acceptable.) The music was ho-hum. People piled in the back first. However, when someone had surgery, had a baby, death in the family, the women cooked. They took care of children involved. They had a system in place, and it worked. Do you think my mom, with 5 children in private school had the time or money to do this? Probably not. But she did. Every. Single. Time. But we always had money to pay the bills. There as never a question of "Are we doing anything for so-and-so who just had such-and-such?" It more was like "Who's doing what for so and so when that baby comes?"

And they just did it.

Granted, the chronically ill in a church are probably less than 25%; even less for people like me who are disabled completely by this disease sometimes. And some folks are really good at sticking by ya....for a few weeks. So if these newer churches springing up hither and yon have no structure to begin with, and no plans in place to "feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and visit the sick and imprisoned," which if I remember correctly is what Jesus commanded us to do.

I never read "make sure you have this program, or that new sound system..." Would a teenager benefit more from going to youth group, playing games, playing music and hearing a message, or from going to a Soup Kitchen once a week and talk to the people there, who may really need Jesus. I'm just sayin'.

It just frustrated me to no end that some women last night will hear what I heard, from Christian women they look up to: If you're stressed, you don't have to take on other's problems. What about Galatians 6:2? 'Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.'

Matthew 25: 35-41 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’
“Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’
“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’
“Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, ‘Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons.

I know I feel strongly about this and I've harped on it before. But from my perspective, it's devastating when you have NO ONE to call to help you with your energetic, rambunctious 4 year old because you can't seem to find a church who will take you in for who you are. When you have ONE person who is willing to watch him almost anytime, but if she's not there...I have been through 3 churches in 10 years who couldn't seem to do this. Two of them even told me told me I was selfish to ask for help. I physcially couldn't care for my self on some days, let alone my child, but I was selfish to take away from someone else's need. Shame on me.

I reconnected with an old friend of the family on facebook, and within a month, she was asking what she could do, and last week brought six frozen meals. (She lives an hour away from me.) I hadn't seen this woman in literally 30 years. I know churches are busy. I've been intricately involved in growing 2 of the 3 we attended. But if the family of God can't be there for you...who will? If you're SO busy and stressed that you can't help a fellow brother or sister in need, maybe you need to take a tough look at your schedule. I know I'll probably ruffle some feathers, but if my point gets across, it will be worth it.

"You've made your point," you say. "So move on." That's just it. I wish I could. There is still no system in place, and in MY Bible, it says it is the believer's job to just do it. I help anyone I can with whatever I can. I may not be able to help you clean your house, we can certainly give you some fresh meat from Doug's latest butchering session. : ) I make and send cards for card ministries, when I'm involved in a church I do what I can from home....so I'm not just saying, here I am, I'm a lump and want to be waited on handand foot. HARDLY. And anyone who REALLY knows me will be laughing right now.

I am fortunate to have 3 friends who really haven't and hopefully won't leave my side, even though they go to different churches. We still don't go yet, because 1. can't figure out where to go, and 2) both Doug and I are skittish. History is supposed to predict the future, so the future tells us there's nothing before us to go to either. So stay in spiritual limbo. And it's very sad, because I feel very, very isolated, and thought that God's children would help us. So if you know someone who needs help, HELP THEM. Yes, pray for them. Maybe even send a card. But a prayer can't chase a 4 year old, and a card can't clean up after said 4 year old goes potty all my himself, and all the good wishes in the world ain't gonna get dinner done.

ANYWHO...on to the fantabulous Melissa Mashburn from Mel's World! She was the guest speaker. She is HILARIOUS, ya'll. I mean put-down-your-drink-secure-any-sharp-objects-funny! It was so fabulous too, that even though she was from Ft Lauderdale she was actually a brunnette! An adorble fluffly, make you pee your pants funny brunette who was so down to earth I wanted to simply kidnap her to stay up here. She and I are alike in that what you see is what you get. I don't wear a mask anymore...I won't put on aires in the hopes of impressing someone...I'm good enough for my God so there ain't nobody on this earth that I need to impress.

It wa truly a pleasure to meet her, and I hope you all go check out here page. It won't be a waste of time, trust me.