New Journey

Well, I'm starting something very different (for me) on Monday.  I have the opportunity to work with a life coach for a one-month free trial.  So starting Monday, I have a life coach.  I've actually already texted with her like 29 times.  She's really awesome...her name is Kristen.

My dear friend Tracy, who is coming up at the end of March (in 32 days!!!) referred me to her.  We're going to work on my crazy schedule and time management to start with.  Because I have like enough stuff to fill 30 hours a day, and there's only 24, plus I DO require some sleep.

I'm looking forward to it for many reasons, not the least of which is I need to get some organization in my crazy life!  But also, Kristen is a VERY optimistic person.  Reminds me of the person I used to be.

I don't like being negative.  I don't like being the glass is half-empty (or, worse yet, "What glass?") kind of person.  It's not WHO I AM.  I am happy.  I am upbeat.  I am the FUN girl.  But I am lost, and between God and my new life coach process, I'm going to see if I just can't find her again....Because I really, really need her to come back.

Prayers welcome!

So Much On My Mind

Tina and the kiddos left yesterday, and I can't believe how really sad I am. I got used to having a girlfriend right here to talk to non-stop! And Jacob was having so much fun with the kids. A few scuffles, but much more fun.


We watched American Idol tryouts (don't know from when, they were on the DVR) and the last person we saw was a young man whose fiance was in a horrible car crash 2 months before their wedding. He said, "I was ready to say my vows, to love and to cherish, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness or in health. What kind of man would I be to walk away now?"


God BLESS you young man. (He could sing too!) THAT is committment and faithfulness. It also reminded me of my husband, and how almost the same thing happened to him. He said the vows FIRST, but then 2 months later I'm on my death bed, literally. And he honored his vows. That is so rare today. So many people think, well, if it doesn't work, we can always get divorced.


Doug and I don't let that even BE a possibility. We simply don't let the "d" word into our vocabulary. Sometimes I get really irritated with him...face it, it's marriage! We ALL get irritated with our spouses.

But really, look at what he has endured. Eleven years of a chronically ill wife. That is NOT easy. And (I know, believe it or not...) I can be a bit difficult at times. Really! It's true! I know you could never believe that from my docile personality....Yes, it IS getting deep in here!

Doug has been an amazing husband over the last 11 years. He has been my best friend, my confidante, my cheerleader, my nurse, my caregiver, my taxi driver, my carrier of medical equipment, my wheelchair pusher, my hand holder, my supporter, and the love of my life.

So. I am looking forward to some new opportunities as well as closing some doors to other things I thought would permanently be part of my life. (THINGS not people). Lots of weird things going on, lots of good things.

Things are finally looking up physically, and more importantly, emotionally. Trying to keep my chin up no matter what....we'll see what happens! I really am a hopeless optimist!

The True Meaning of Christmas to Me...Hope

Hope.

So much power in such small word. I have always been an eternal optimist. Always seen the glass as half full, filled with the best thing you could ever want, and expecting it to be completely full soon. After being afflicted with a chronic, debilitating illness, that glass shattered. Some friends and I were talking about this glass-half-full business a while back, and the eternal pessimist said, "Glass? What glass?" Well, that's about where I was.

But thank GOD He didn't leave me there. I can't STAND the thought of no hope. It's not that I see the world through rose-colored glasses, because trust me, I do not. But ponder this:

"Sanity may be madness but the maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be."
-Don Quixote

I may not be healthy right now, but I hope that someday I will be here on earth. I KNOW I will be in heaven. It's choosing to believe the good. Yes, you may be disappointed. But living life, just accepting where you are, to "see life as it is instead of as it should be..." That is so powerful! Think about how different things would be if everyone TRULY started living as they SHOULD. Every moment of every day. Impossible? I don't think so.

Jesus was born so that we can have that hope. Christmas to me, is so NOT commercial. We don't talk about Santa Claus, (I know, how controversial!), we celebration Jesus' birthday. If He never came, there would be no HOPE. And I'm not sure I could live my life like that. I should never have been able to have this precious child, Jacob...but Hope prevailed, and God blessed me so much!

"Hope is like a road in the country; there never was a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence." -Lin Yutang

I know life can hurt. I know life can be unfair...believe me, I know. But I also know that HOPE is more powerful than unfairness. It is bigger than fear. It is stronger than despair.
It is the infertile woman knowing she will someday be a mother. It is the sick among us knowing that someday they will be well. It is the "poor" among us who know they are really, immeasurably blessed.

Hope lives. You can take a lot from a person, but as long as they have hope, they will go on.
This Christmas, try living life as it should be, not as is it. See where it takes you.
Always remember the Reason for the Season.
Merry Christmas,
and Merry SITS-mas sisters!