Being Thankful On Purpose

There are times in everyone's lives when you just plain have a bad day.  Even if things are going well, and you're feeling good... sometimes you still have a crappy attitude. (And when I say "you" I mean "me" too!)  So I'm challenging myself, and you, to be thankful on purpose. I have SO much to be thankful for, that sometimes I need to remind myself. 

1. I am thankful that God's mercies are new every morning. NO matter how badly I screw up, He will forgive, truly forget, and start every new day with a clean slate. That needs to be number one on EVERYONE'S thankful list.

2. I am thankful that we have a wood burner, and don't have to pay almost $4.00 a gallon for fuel oil to heat our house. I'm thankful we have woods all around us and don't have to pay for wood. I am thankful that Doug is able to get all the wood we need for winter without paying someone else to get it. Praise God!

3. I am thankful that my husband is a Christian man, has a good job, is hard working, faithful, trustworthy, loving, a wonderful provider and a great dad. (He's awfully cute too!)

4. I am thankful I have a beautiful, healthy, smart, loving, busy, crazy, amazing, gregarious, precocious, full-of-life son, when I thought I never could. Miracles happen, folks.  I'm living proof.

5. I am thankful for the friends that I have that I know I can count on for WHATever, WHENever. Thank you for letting me know that I can depend on you, call you in the middle of the night (only for an emergency, I promise!)…I love you and appreciate you more than you can know.

6. I am thankful I have a computer, and internet, because it allows me to keep in touch with everyone I love.

7. I am thankful for music. It moves me like nothing else can.

8. I am thankful that although I have health issues, I can see and hear. I can walk, and talk, maybe not perfectly, but I can.  I'm so, so, so thankful for the IonCleanse.  It has given me my life back.  Thank you, Lord!!

9. I am thankful that this life is not all we have. That when the time comes, I will be in the presence of God Almighty, and I long to hear "Well done, good and faithful servant." I will be whole again. There will be no more night. No more pain. No more tears. Hallelujah! I will be reunited with those gone before, and meet fellow Christian friends I have not had the privilege to meet in this lifetime.

10. I am thankful for YOU, yes you!  The one who is taking the time to read my words.  I am thankful you read this, and I want you to know you are loved.

May we all find something we are thankful for today. I'd love to hear what YOU'RE thankful for...leave a comment!

¹ Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord;
    let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.
² Let us come before him with thanksgiving
    and extol him with music and song.

³ For the Lord is the great God,
    the great King above all gods.

Psalm 95:1-3

Mixed Blessings

I am a Jesus-follower, and believe He is the only way to heaven.  You can agree or disagree, but I'm pretty upfront about it and not shy to talk about my beliefs.

I started my post this way because the song "Blessings" by Laura Story has been going through my head over and over.  It makes me cry every time.  I have experienced that song.  "What if blessings come through raindrops?  What if healing comes through tears?"

You know, so many people are struggling. 
 

Think about it:  if it never rained, we'd have no flowers.  And if you get something in your eyes, the best thing to wash them out with is your own tears.

But my heart it so burdened by loved ones who are hurting.  Some are fighting physical illness, some struggle with mental illness (which is so invisible that some people don't even believe it exists!); people struggling with inner demons that just overwhelm them.  And it makes my heart break.

I have always been an empathetic person.

Empathize. Understand.  Identify With.  Put oneself in another person’s place.

I remember one time when I was little, I was at my cousin’s house, and he got into trouble for something.  He received discipline, but I was the one who cried! I’m still kind of the same now, but on a broader scale.  If I could take the burdens of others I would.  I have a few MG friends right now (several really,) that are going through SO much....And I wish with all my heart I could do something about it.

But it's not my place.  It's God's.  It's Jesus's.  HE is the only One who can take the burdens.  Before I had MG, I was not on a great path in life.  I was doing things I knew God didn’t want me to do.  But I was so insecure, and so self-absorbed I did them anyway.

God got my attention.  He loved me too much to leave me where I was.  And if it took MG to do it, so be it.  I have a better life now.  Do I wish I was healthy?  Cured? Absolutely.  Do I wish I could breathe every day really well and run and jump and roll around on the floor with my son?  Of course.

But would I trade all of the blessings that came with this insidious disease? Nope.

I guess in my rambling, round-about way I'm trying to tell you that there is HOPE.  God loves you.  He wants your heart.  He doesn't want some blindly following robot.  He wants to know you.  He already loves you.

When I became a mom, the sacrifice of God sending His only Son to earth to die a horrible death took on incredible new meaning to me.  I don't know if I could do it.  I love my child more than my own life.  To send him to a place where people would mock him and beat him and eventually kill him?  Even if it was to save others?  I don't know.  I could give up myself, but my son?

Just think about that today.  The God of Heaven wants YOU to be His child and ease your burdens. 

Life will NOT be all sunshine and roses. 

But it will be different.  Better.  More joyful.  It may not be easy, but it will be good.  It will be very good.

“Blessings” by Laura Story

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

"Blessings" by Laura Story

 I LOVE this song.  It makes me cry, but it's so beautiful, and it's so amazing.  God used a LOT of tears, trials and sleepless nights, but I have been blessed beyond belief.  Please read these lyrics carefully.  The song is beautiful.

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

Thankful

I have much to be thankful for always, but these last few days have been awesome!

Thursday, my mom and sister Lori came to clean my living room and dining room. And I mean CLEAN. Like wash the curtains-wash the windows clean! What a blessing. My poor sister was already having an allergy attack BEFORE she got to my house, which is an allergen-impregnated monstrosity.

THEN, my mom took Jacob home with her to spend the night. Jacob was so excited. We were supposed to go to Ann Arbor yesterday, but I was feeling about 70%, and I didn't want to go back to about 15%, so we're waiting a week. But my mom took Jacob anyway. He had a blast.

Doug and I finally used a gift card we had from Christmas and went to the Grillhouse (for those of you not from around here, it's been featured on the Travel Channel). Then we got home and watched a movie on the big screen that we couldn't watch if Jacob had been home. Usually we have to watch these on our 7" portable DVD player in Ann Arbor!

Then Friday, Doug called to see if I wanted to go out for lunch, and to Pamida and Rite Aid (had some coupons and 2 Pamida gift certificates for $10.00 each). So we did, and what would have cost us $40.51, we paid $6.08 for. IIIII know! That's a savings of $34.43. Crazy!

So anyway. It's been a great couple of days, and between Shawn, Doug and my parents, I have been able to get the rest I needed to get over this stupid sinus infection. I was still at about 70% of my normal yesterday, but today I'm hoping for a little more. We shall see!

OH! And best of all!!! My sister's husband Phil FINALLY got a new tool and die job! He's been driving a milk tanker truck for over a year. Not great money, and NO insurance. We have been praying and praying and praying. I don't understand God's timing, but he has a job again, with insurance, and Lori and Willie will finally be able to go back to the doctor and get some much needed allergy medicine!

So....just when I get to the point where I feel God had been silent for SOOO long...He showers me and my family with blessing. Don't give up. YOUR day is coming soon.

The GOOD Things About Having MG

Yup, you read that right. The GOOD things. Because there are plenty. And instead of whining about my eyes being messed up or my trach hurting or any number of myasthenia related issues that have plagued me, I will tell you some wonderful things I never would have experienced without this illness.

I learned that my husband is a man of strong character. He is faithful, trustworthy, loyal, Godly, a wonderful protector and provider. Six weeks after we were married I was in the hospital on a ventilator. No one knew (except God of course) whether I would live or die. Even though he is a Christian man, he could have just said, "I didn't sign up for this!" But he took his marriage vows seriously, in sickness or in health. He stands by me to this day. I love you honey.

I have met some amazing people that I never would have known without this disease connecting us. Two young ladies in particular, that I have just recently met, that I have connected with...(Their blog links are on my sidebar)...These women are amazing. They are strong. They both work, have families, and still manage this wicked disease. One prays for me. One has the patience of Job and is helping me with computer stuff that I just don't know how to do, AND made my signature and button. I just met her! I love ya girls!!

I learned that I am a lot stronger than I think. I always knew I was STUBBORN (like in the hospital....just too stubborn to die! : ), but I never realized the strength that God had given me. And I wouldn't have if I hadn't gotten MG. It takes a lot more to keep going than it does to give up. Can I get an Amen??? (Joanna get out your hanky, girl, and start wavin'!) : )

I have deepened a few friendships to the point of KNOWING I could call either of these women in the middle of the night, and they would do whatever it took to help me. I can trust them both implicity with my precious child, and that speaks volumes. Joanna, Shawn, thank you. I love you both so much, and you are amazing, godly examples of loving one another. I don't know what I'd do without you!

My relationship with God is on a whole different level than it would have been. He showed me what it means to depend on Him. He has blessed me with things I can't even describe. I was able to share my story with a man who was chronically ill, had given up on God, and just hated life. He wanted to die and was not saved, according to his wife. She and a friend from the church I was attending at the time prayed for him daily. The friend asked me to pray as well. I sent this man a card to let him know I was praying for him. I was later told that when he got my card (I enclosed a picture of my son so he could SEE that miracles happen) he cried. He couldn't believe someone who didn't even know him cared enough to do that. His health did improve for a while, but he ended up passing away. And when he did, he knew the Lord, and was in heaven, praising God. To know that I had ANY teeny part in that, because of what God had given me to deal with....WOW. Every minute of suffering was worth that.

I have learned to appreciate life. I don't get angry like I used to. Quite frankly, I don't have the energy! I'm not nearly as impatient as I was, and things just don't get under my skin. I am in awe of the beauty that surronds me...God's magnificent creation. I really SEE it now, instead of just speeding through life with my head down, nose to the grindstone.

My son takes my breath away. I know I would love my child no matter what...but going through what I had to go through to have him makes me look at him, and just thank God he is in my life. Sometimes I watch him and think, how did I ever live my life without this little boy? He makes my heart just feel like it could burst inside me. It's so full, it's like it just can't hold anymore.

So I'm here to tell you....you may be going through hell right now. You may be thinking, I just CAN'T do this one. more. day. Oh, friends. I have been there. I have shed the tears. I have shaken my fists at God and railed at the heavens. But then those very fists have turned into open palms of praise, thanking God for who He is, and what He has done for me.

Thankful

There are some things that just warm my heart. Illness aside. Problems aside. When I look at things like this, there is no trouble, there is no fear. There is no worry or anxiety or pain. It's just joy.

A Boy and His Dog

My Jacob reading Daddy's magazines like a little man. How did I get so blessed as to have this amazing child??

After a long, fun day outside in the sunshine, playing hard, Jacob fell asleep on the couch. His new puppy was just as tired as he was! It's kid of hard to see Blackie because he blends into the couch!

My heart both leaps and breaks at pictures like this. My little baby is SO not a baby anymore! Something about a sleeping child just gives me peace. He's getting so big. Part of me wishes he could stay small forever...

Awww....what a cute puppy! And such an amazing, sunny, beautiful spring day!

God's handiwork. Nature attests to His glory, every day. How could this happen by chance?

There are times when I'm down. Just plain down. Depressed. But God never lets me stay there too long. This last bout was longer than most. When my health is bad day after day, week after week, month after month...you get the picture. But I really try to keep a good attitude. Many times I am NOT successful!

But then there are days like this. Like yesterday, when I could spend FOUR HOURS outside. With my son. And his dog. Enjoying the miracle of God's creation. I am truly blessed.