Caregivers

I think that one group of people that is highly UNDER-appreciated and not valued nearly enough is caregivers. The people who take care of the people like me. Sometimes I don't need to be taken care of. Sometimes I do. And usually I do when it's not very good timing for my caregivers. One of the most frustrating parts of being a caregiver I suppose. Not much fun for the sickie either!

My husband is a great example. It seems that I need him most when he's busiest at work, or has a million things to do around the house. That came out the other day when he said some not-so-nicely-put things to me. I'll spare the details because I know he was super stressed. But it wasn't very nice. It DID however, bring about a great change...I think. Jacob will now be going to my dear friend Shawn's house every Wednesday. She has a daycare, but there's no babies, and there isn't like 20 kids. In fact, there is a little boy, an only child, Jacob's age. Perfect.

Being an only child can be rough too: I told Jacob he was going to start going to Auntie Shawn's next week and play with lots of kids.
Jacob: Will they be my FRIENDS???
Mommy: Yup.
Jacob: And I can play with them and they will be my friends?
Mommy: Yes, honey.
Jacob {getting out the knife, ready to stab Mommy's heart} So I won't be sad anymore?

UG. All of the air whooshed out of me. Lately Jacob has been crying and saying, "I just want a friend." Oh my GOSH talk about my feeling like CRAPOLA. Because of my disease, I take medication to suppress my immune system. Therefore, if I get any kind of sickness, cold, flu, whatever, I could end up in the hospital, even die. {One reason we are hone-schooling}.

Because I have to be so careful about germs, Jacob has missed out on a lot of stuff: nursery, play groups....and the fact that he is a thumb sucker doesn't help. He gets germs on his hand and there goes the thumb. But...I'm doing pretty well right now, mostly. So this will actually be GOOD, because Jacob will get to play with other kids, and I will get a day to myself, to go to the chiropractor, dentist, eye doctor, store, or just go home and rest!!

That Mommy guilt is right up there on the list of "Things I hate about MG." Hearing my baby so sad, knowing it's because of me....Breaks.My.Heart.

Anyway....If you are ill and have a caregiver in your life, cut them some slack when they get frustrated. It's an overwhelming job, especially when you also have a very busy full time job.

And caregivers: thank you. All we ask is that if you get frustrated, TALK to us...don't snap. Don't let the frustration build to a point where you go ballistic. Just talk about it. I promise we can figure something out.

Crazy Is As Crazy Does.....

So. If you question yourself about being crazy, does that mean you have the presence of mind to differentiate between crazy and sane, so you're not really crazy? Or does it mean, yup, you're pretty much nuts, so just embrace it. Always wondered about that.

I guess I just embrace it. Always been a little bit of crazy in me. Oh come on, you know there is in you too. Life would be FAR too boring without a little bit of insanity.

So as some of you know , I popped a rib out with my coughing from this ridiculous cold, and from being beat up in the truck in Florida. So my precious child is at my in-laws...he stayed over night last night, and he's staying again tonight. One part of me is whooping it up (immobiley, of course, since I cannot walk!) because I am the ONLY.PERSON.IN.MY.HOUSE. I can do what I want, when I want (well, sort of. I can sit where I want and watch or read or listen to what I want). But just to be able to catch up on computer stuff and reading! Oh, sweet bliss!!

And then 10 seconds later I'm bawling because I miss my baby. We are just never apart, which is why the above paragraph was written. I simply can't take care of him right now...I am barely keepin up with myself. Stairs are terrible. I couldn't do anything but get frustrated with him, and he'd have no fun here, and I KNOW he's having fun with Grandma and Grandpa and their dog Lucy. They go for walks...He's having a blast. But the Mommy guilt sucks.

He called last night because he wanted to talk to me. He said "I love you Mommy" about 6 times. That tiny, sweet voice in my ear...I thought I was going to melt right there. I know I need the rest, and I know he's better off. I just have to keep busy so I don't dwell on it. I need this rest and relaxation, icing my back, etc.

Anywho. My back is still reeeaaalllly sore, and I am still fighting this cold, so I can use all the rest that I can get. And it will be just that much sweeter when I see him in another day. Mommy loves you my precious boy!!!