Patience is a Virtue I Do NOT Have

Oh my gravy people!!! I'm losing my mind with cabin fever. It would be bad enough if we WEREN'T going on our first vacation in over 5 years, our first EVER family vacation (in four days!)! Can hardly stand it. Doug was inside quite a bit today, which helped, because it makes the day go faster. Jacoc actually was outside with Daddy for like 2 hours today! He will sleep good tonight! He had such a good time. He misses Daddy a lot now when Doug is at work.

I drank waaaaay too much caffeine this morning. Whew! I was stoked. I mean to the limit.
I should know better....I love the energy, but I do NOT love the crash after!

Was talking to my friend Tracy on facebook today...she lives in Florida. We went to college together, and will be connecting in St. Pete when we're down there. We haven't seen each other in 17 years! WOW does that make me feel old!!

Then, in March, I'm having a reunion with 3 more college friends...roommates actually. What a blast. It's so amazing to see how God has worked in all of our lives...all in such different ways. So I will even have that to look forward to when I get BACK from Florida!

Well, nothing too exciting...just packing and cleaning! Have a good weekend...what's left of it!

Oh What A Night

What a night. Twenty years...it was like being in some kind of bizarre time warp. Like here are all these peple I have locked in my mind at 18 year olds...like we've all gone through the age-progression photography they show on TV sometimes, yet in 3-D!! I have to say that overall, the women aged better than the men. Some of the women didn't look more than a year or two different (so unfair), with a much less '80's hairdo of course. Some aged beautifully, some gracefully, some, not-so-much. For name tags we all had our senior pictures on them with our maiden and married names, and our spouses had their names with our pictures. Now, my graduating class was only about 125 people...so when you look at someone and go: I have no idea who that is, you're hoping it's a spouse.

There were 2 women there last night who would definitely win the "most amazing looking after 20 year awards." Talk about brilliant, beautiful, polished women. It was a trip. And since they are both wonderful PEOPLE on the inside, it just makes you all the more pleased they are doing so well and looking terrific.

Lots of irony last night. I honestly thought I would leave being upset and thinking, "All these people are normal, have normal lives, are healthy, happy, successful..." And some are, I'm sure. But lots more aren't. Whether they were there or not, we heard of divorce, alcoholism, cancer, serious kid trouble.... I left last night thinking, I have an amazing life! Gosh, so many with unhappy marriages. So sad.

I was also amazed at how many of the men were totally bald! I mean cue-ball! And since we graduated in '89, all these guys had mullets...so it was HILARIOUS.

Lots of questions about me...the trach, what happened....I made a few people cry, which made me feel bad...one guy I've known since we were 5 years old...that broke my heart. My life is SO GOOD compared to some.

When Doug and I left, we walked outside through a bunch of the smokers, and I couldn't resist.... I shook my "scolding finger" at them, pointed to my trach and said, "See what happens if you keep smoking????" Some of them just jar-dropped, others looked away, and a few were like, is that what happened??? I kind of chuckled and said no, but I do say that when I see kids smoking!

So I had to explain quickly...I got all choked up, which is dumb, since I had been talking about it all night, but I just kept saying, I have a great life.....and I do!! Some of these people, my age, people I've known my whole life...are just broken inside. It was so sad.

So instead of leaving, crying and being jealous of everyone there, I left thinking, they should be jealous of me! I have an amazing, loving, faithful husband, a beautiful, crazy smart, healthy, happy miralce boy, and I love the Lord. And I know He loves me.

So to those precious friends, who told me they pray for me, who read my blog that I didn't know about! (hi!), thank you!!! Please keep praying and reading....God is so good.

To those precious friends who weren't there last night, for whatever reason....we missed you!

And to those precious friends who are hurting, who are struggling with bad marriages or addiction, or trouble with their children....I will be praying for you...that you get to know the God I do....and that He will heal your broken hearts, because He is the only one who can.

Overall, what a wonderful night. I got to see some good friends, have a date night with my husband, and was reminded that my life is AWESOME, all in the same night. Oh, what a night!

20 Years

Wow. Tonight is my 20th high school reunion. TWENTY years. I was 18. That was SO long ago! Some of the things that have happened to me in 20 years:

I graduated college. (I was a nanny for a year, at home, during college, and finished in a year and a half, so I really went to college in 3 1/2 years.)

I had 3 different jobs between college and getting sick: substitute teacher, cashier at Office Depot, and Towne Air Freight.

I tried to go back to work once after I was sick, couldn't do it.

I went to St. Louis to see the arch. VERY cool.

I went to Niagra Falls.

I went to California, twice.

I used to go to Chicago all the time for the weekend.

I met my best friend ever.

I lost my best friend ever to cancer 12 years later.

I had my tonsils out (at 25).

I started having MG symptoms 6 months later, (July 1995) but went undiagnosed until I was hospitalized, half-dead, in 2000.

I've had almost 200 plasmapheresis treatments!

NOT including pheresis days, I've spent about 100 days in the hospital.

I met my amazing husband (after meeting many bozos).

I got married...twice...to the same man. ; )

I have been to the Wisconsin Dells (first time ever!).

I went to the Mall of America, twice.

I went to New Jersey.

I went to Copper Harbor (on the hottest day ever recorded there, 105 degrees! I hate HOT WEATHER!!!)

Doug and I used to go to Escanaba (ya, in da U.P., eh?) three times a year for a week.

I've been on the best vacation ever: drove across the country, through 11 states, staying in Colorado for 5 days, on to the Grand Canyon, back home on Route 66. Awesome. (But Amarillo is VERY stinky. Lots of cattle!!)

I had an amazing child.

I've had 3 dogs, 2 I still have, one we had to put down. : (

I've had a trach for 9 of those 20 years.

I've grown so much closer to God through my trials, and I wouldn't change anything I've been through. It's what got me where I am now, and I like me a lot better now than 20 years ago!

I've have met people I've loved, and people that I have not...I have been wounded in some ways, and made whole in other ways. I have loved and I have lost. I have gained and I have expended. I have laughed...and I have cried...oh, how I have cried. But is all comes down to this: I KNOW that my Redeemer lives, and THAT, my friends, is TRULY all that matters. This life is so fleeting, so fraught with trouble...but on the other side, no more tears. No pain. No anger. No hurt. No night. Hallelujah.

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."
2 Corinthians 4:8-10 (NIV)