Random Letters

Dear DiSH Network,

Yesterday we cancelled our service. Why, you ask? Because you KEEP sending fliers in the mail, in MY name, showing us how much MORE we're paying by being faithful customers. Bad idea. New customers pay $25.00 less a month for the same service. We call (because you keep sending the d$#% fliers) and ask what you can do for us to keep our patronage. You say $5.00 off a month for 3 months. A grand total of fifteen smackeroos. Fifteen WHOLE dollars over 90 days.

Are you smoking crack kidding?

So we cancel. And I sign up online, in my name, my phone number, and get the new rate.

Until...

Habib "Joe" calls and confirms our order, and asks to set up an installation date. He asks is we've had DiSH network before. I say yes. He asks if it's within 3 months. I say yes (because I don't lie). He says, sorry, you don't qualify for this pricing. So I say then I don't want it. And hang up.

Now. IF you have the balls guts to call me, after my cancellation, and ask what you can do to get my business back, you better have an awful lot of time and some soft toilet paper, because I will rip you a new one. Last time I cancelled you harassed me for months..."What can we do to get you back? What can we do? How about $9.99 a month for 6 decades?" Do us both a favor: lose my number.

And you know what else? You can kiss my bare-naked lily-white arse. I'd rather crawl naked, up hill both ways through broken glass than EVER have your "service" again.

May the Fleas of a Thousand Camels Infest Your Armpits,
An UNsatisfied, Highly Pissed Off EX-Customer


President Obama,

Yesterday on the way to my mother's with my four year old son who likes to use the potty every 10 minutes, we were stopped due to "road work." We were sitting still, not moving an inch for 7 minutes. SEVEN. With a four year old that likes to pee every 10 minutes, that's like 6 hours.

When we FINALLY start moving, we go past a construction "worker" holding a "slow" sign (how appropriate) chewing gum with his mouth wide open like a cow chewing cud. As we continue down the road, passing orange cones every 10 yards in the middle of the road, we see NO construction. ZERO roadwork. Nothing torn up, not on the main road, not on the side roads, NADA.

After about a mile, we pass another construction "worker" holding a "slow" sign. Mmm-hmm.
He's eating trail mix or m&m's or something. Nice. Still no "work" going on. Still passing orange cones, road work signs, and "Be Prepared To Stop" signs.

After 4-5 miles (which is a long flippin' time to have traffic stopped) we leave the "construction" zone. Not even a pebble had been disturbed. So was this like, "practice" construction worker training? Oh, I know...this is your stimulus money hard at work! Yup. Getting about as much done to benefit this country as YOU have done so far. It sure LOOKS like there's a lot going on, but all that's happening is money is getting wasted and people are getting pissed off. Pretty much sums up your days in office.

Stimulate THIS,
Someone Who Didn't Vote for You, Never Will, and Who is Trying to Figure Out the Best Place to Put her "Impeach Obama" Stickers.

In GOD we Trust.