Life Is NOT Fair

Oh my friends.  I'm not really whining today; I'm just really, really sure of this fact:  Life as we know it, is simply not fair.  It just isn't. It never will be. And the sooner we accept that, the better off we will be. 

It isn't easy though, especially when it seems that we are trying so hard to do all the right things. All the things we know are good and noble.  And yet it appears that mean, evil, rotten people flourish.  I know.  I've been there myself, and I've seen people I love suffer things that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.  

Why is that?  Why do good people suffer?  If we are God's children, and God wants only good things for us, why are people who care about God struggling?? My only answer is that satan is the lord of this world.  His time is short, and he knows it, and he will do whatever it takes to take as many people with him as he can.  So if he can help make a rotten human being outwardly wealthy and prosperous, and make it look like the kind, compassionate person is constantly under attack and things are going wrong all the time, he thinks he's winning. But we ALL know how the story ends!

Emotions are POWERFUL things.  They are more powerful than facts (to most people).  Passion can be blinding. If I get really amped up about something, super passionate, highly emotional, it can be very difficult to reason with me.  That passion and emotional can be a force unto itself.  It can accomplish amazing things.  Yet it can also hinder the truth. We can get so caught up in what's "fair" and what's "unfair" that we miss the whole point. 


Even though evildoers of the world seem to prosper, take heart: God says,

  "that though the wicked sprout like grass
and all evildoers flourish,
they are doomed to destruction forever;
8but you, O LORD, are on high forever.
9For behold, your enemies, O LORD,
for behold, your enemies shall perish;
all evildoers shall be scattered." Psalm 92:7-9 ESV

So. While the evil people of this world may LOOK like all is well, they are going down.  It's just a matter of time. What then, happens to those of us who have struggled?  

"Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. 8For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. 9And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." Galatians 6:7-9 ESV

*Everyone* will reap what they sow.  If you sow corn, you'll get corn.  It's not rocket science.  If you sow bitterness and destruction, guess what you'll reap? Yup.  Bitterness and destruction.  If you sow hate, don't expect to reap roses.

Even though there are days that seem to go on forever, this life really is fleeting.  Our days here on this earth are finite.  Our days with God, in eternity, are INfinite.  Whatever we must endure for now, endure! For the reward we will receive is spending forever, eternity, never ending perfect days, with our Father God, and His Son, Jesus Christ. In a perfect world.  With perfect bodies.  No more sin.  No sorrow.  No pain.  No tears.  The day Jesus returns is coming soon.  And all the pain will end, IF you know Jesus as your personal Savior. 

One of my favorite verses: "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." Romans 8:18 ESV

"No longer will there be anything accursed, but the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and his servants will worship him. 4They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. 5And night will be no more. They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever." Revelation 22:3-5

Fair/Beginning of Invisible Illness Week

Yesterday was a big day! Doug and Jacob and I went to the Allegan County Fair. Doug’s work has a picnic at the fair every year. Last year Jacob was still a bit too small for rides, etc. He was still in the stroller most of the time, and not terribly interested in much.

Oh, what a year can do.

The child is fearless. He went on the HUGE Ferris wheel with Doug. He was WAY more excited than Doug was, for sure. He kept saying, “I want to go on the Ferris wheel!” the second we told him we were going to the fair. So they did, and he loved it.

He also rode all the little kiddy rides, much to my germophobic chagrin. I went through a LOT of wipes! I really can’t think about how many disgusting things could be one those rides, or my child would never leave the house without his protective bubble. Doug and Jacob went in the spinning apple thing, and there was another little kid in there that wanted to spin. Shocker of all shockers, he actually ASKED Doug if it was okay to spin with Jacob in there. (Kudos to those parents, wherever they are!) So they went really slow, and my son is like "faster, faster!!" Anyway, he had a WONDERFUL time. Doug, on the other hand, was a bit sweaty and more than a bit green when he got done. : )

Today kicks off the beginning of Invisible Illness Awareness Week. Yesterday at the fair, I wasn’t sure if I wanted my illness to be more invisible than it was at the time…. I mean, I always have the trach, so mine is more visible than some, but most people just assume that I had throat cancer (at the ripe old age of 29 when I first got the trach??), and that I’m fine now, because I look okay. I don’t go out in public when I’m doing really bad unless I go to the hospital or doctor or something. So when I"m out, my hair is done, my make up is one, etc.

Yesterday, however, at the fair, I was walking with a cane. I’ve been having hip pain, as most of you know. I have to call later this morning about an MRI. They are still looking at avascular necrosis. No fun. So I have a cane, a trach, I’m limping, and it was horrible. I almost think I’d rather have people make assumptions. I was very self-conscious, which I suppose is my own issue. And even though in the shade it was fine, in the sun (where we were most of the time) it was HOT. I got in the car and just bawled. Then I got home and bawled some more.

It’s SO frustrating dealing with a chronic illness on days like that. I just want to be normal and walk around with my husband and child and ENJOY a day at the fair. I guess part of me was just feeling sorry for myself because I was hot and tired, and it’s easier to fall prey to the “if only’s.”

And I have to admit, I’m freaked out about this avascular necrosis (AVN). I mean, I know I can’t change anything by worrying, and I’m MUCH better than I used to be, but I just do NOT want to deal with this. Enough already.