Tough Stuff

"Jesus teaches that human need must always be helped; that there is no greater task than to relieve someone's pain and distress and that the Christian's compassion must be like God's-- unceasing. Other work may be laid aside but the work of compassion, never."
William Barclay

I read this and I was like, YES! That's it! Other than leading people to salvation through Jesus, compassion is the KEY to the kingdom. If we amass huge fortune, but help no one, what good have we done?

If we work very hard and advance ourselves, and educate ourselves, and grow in mind, body and spirit, but cannot improve the life of another, what have we accomplished?

I know this is a very familiar piece of Scripture. Try to read it with fresh eyes.

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.".... And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." I Corinthians 13:1-3, 13

Ya know, I keep hearing about churches that are being run as businesses instead of bodies of Christ. Yes, there ARE good churches out there. And if you belong to one, thank God for it. But there are many more that have lost their way. They are worried about the latest technology, the best sound system, the most dynamic speaker, the biggest bank account, the most people.

My sister had gallbladder surgery, as many of you know. Her daughter Jessica called her former pastor, the man that actually married Jess and Daniel. She needed to talk to someone because she was scared. She also wanted to use the church for a bake sale. One day she walked in to check on Lori, watched her pass out on the bed, and thought she was dead. Lori woke to Jessie slapping her face and trying to wake her up. She was very upset, as you can imagine.

After like a week, someone on the staff called and told her she couldn't just "talk" to the pastor. She told them of some of their needs, and the man's reply was "there are a lot of families in need. We can't help them all."

That's the short version, trust me. I was so angry. I wrote the pastor of that church a letter and told him exactly what I thought of the situation Gave him my e-mail address and welcomed any response he may have.

It doesn't matter how much you can offer. Everyone can offer a little. Can you imagine if every single person you know helped one person a day? The whole world would get their needs met.

But we don't. We sit on our collective hands and worry about what people might think if they saw us in a particular part of town, or if we gave a ride to a stranger. I'm not asking anyone to take risks they are uncomfortable with, but to just open their eyes and REALLY look at their surroundings.

Hebrews 13:2 "Do not forget or neglect or refuse to extend hospitality to strangers [in the brotherhood--being friendly, cordial, and gracious, sharing the comforts of your home and doing your part generously], for through it some have entertained angels without knowing it."

That's from the Amplified Bible. I usually don't use that version, but I really liked the specifics of this verse. Just think about it. Get out of your comfort zone. You may have the ONE THING that someone else needs. If you never offer, you'll never know.

Where Do They GET These People?

Oh goodness. I know I can't expect perfection from people...from anyone. I am far from perfect. But with today's unemployment rate what it is, you would think that EVERYONE would have qualified help.

I get a voicemail from my mail order pharmacy saying that they "couldn't process my order." Okay, first of all, I have like 10 scripts on file with them. How the heck am I supposed to know which one they mean? I even check the website and can't get any more information.

So I all the number the woman left me where "anyone who answered could help me." Mmm-hm.

I get the push one for English blah, blah, blah, and finally get to a human being. She mutters her perfunctory greeting and name, and asks how she may help me. I explain I got a voicemail with minimal information and that I was returning the call.

Her: What's your account number?

Okay, how the heck do I know?

Me: Is that the same number as my insurance number?
Her: Yes.
Me: Ok, just a minute. {digging for my card}

Her: {hurumph} What's your name? {imagine attitude and a slight smacking of the lips.}

Me: Kerri Sweeris. S-w-e-e-r-i-s First name Kerri. K-e-r-r-i.
Her: Birth date?
Me: 1-4-71.
Her: 1971?
Me: {No, 1871, what the??} Yes, 1971

Her: Did you say T-e-r-i?
Me: No, Kerri. K as in kangaroo (I can never think of anything on the spot)---
Her: {interrupting} Last name V-i-n-e?

Me: {thinking, Really???} I found my card now, would that help?
Her: What's the number?"

So I read it off.
Her: {getting back to her "customer voice"} Oh, yes ma'am, your prescription can't be processed without prior auth.
Me: {again, thinking which freakin' prescription??} Okay, which one?

Her: I'll spell it. {rattles off very quickly}
Me: Um, could you spell the name of it a little slower please? {I didn't recognize anything but the last 6 letters or so}

Her: Of course, ma'am. {get ready for it} N as in Nancy, A as is Adam, M as in Mary, E as in Edward, C as in Charlie....{spells all out} and then X as in X-ray and a 24

So she goes through the whole thing like that, and this is what she spelled: nameclaritinx24
In NORMAL people language, that would be 24 hour Claritin.

Now, like I said, I don't expect everyone to know everything. But you'd think she would have realized that the N-A-M-E at the beginning was the word NAME??? As in the NAME of the medication?? Good Lord.

Oh my GOSH!!! And at least this one was American. I could see her shaking her head, rolling her eyes and hear her smacking her lips, but she spoke English. Not like the Indian people (IN India) who answer, and say their name is Joe or Sue or whatever.

With so many people looking for a job, you'd THINK they could up their game a little. Just sayin'. I have enough ignorance to deal with regarding my health just with the general public!!! How silly of me to expect SO much from someone answering the phone at a place that deals with all of my prescriptions! God forbid this woman was in charge of like, alerting customers to potential interactions between their drugs!

"Yes ma'am, I just called to let you know that your medications could interact. Call anyone at this number and they will be as ignorant as I am will be able to help you."

Help me right into a straight jacket!

When Will I Learn??

Good grief.

We don't have central air. So I, in all my wisdom, decide to go to the store about 7 minutes from my house to get 2 more of the circular fans they had on sale. We got one on Saturday when the ad first started. Doug was going to stop on his way home from work, but I thought, as it gets hotter, more people will be buying fans.

So then, of course, I start looking at coupons. I mean, if I'm going to BE there, I might as well see if anything they have on sale has a coupon, right? After all, they have double coupons this week too! Ug. So I end up with a list. Then I think, oh crap, Jacob needs shorts on. So I go upstairs to get shorts. I find 1 pair that I know will fit. I get two more-brand-new-bought-on-clearance-last-year pairs of shorts. Too small. He has 2 pair of jean shorts upstairs as well as the other stuff I grabbed to try on him.

So he needs shorts. They happen to have some on sale. So we go to leave (probably an hour and a half after my original intention so it's already that much hotter) and can't find shoes that fit the child. So we end up buying 2 pairs of summer shoes...one pair on clearance for $5.00 thank you very much.

THEN they were out of the fans anyway! I still bought 2, an oscillating standing fan and another cheap box fan to blow on me while I sleep. So then I have to get all this out to my van...Let's just say the fans and the propel water are still in the van for Doug to unload. I had to sit in my van for like 10 minutes before I could drive home. Thank GOD Jacob was a good boy. And I didn't take my suction machine, so all I had was my purse. And Jacob doesn't need a diaper bag.... but of course he DID have to go potty 5 minutes before we were done shopping, so I had to find a place for my cart, take my purse, take him potty, wash his hands (this is all quite tiring).

We finally got home and I put my head in the freezer for a few minutes. That always helps. Now I'm flippin' exhausted....and it's still hot in the house, and Lord knows when the window air conditioners will get put in. As I said yesterday I just got Doug to stop burning wood yesterday!!

Oh the joys of chronic illness and a "frugal" healthy spouse.

Tomorrow May Be Too Late

Okay. So yesterday I was super crabby. And when I'm super crabby, I usually listen to Skillet, a Christian rock band. And they ROCK let me tell ya. I was actually playing a game online while listening to them, while Jacob and Doug were outside. All of the sudden the lyrics of one song really grabbed my attention. Check it out:

Tick tock, hear the clock countdown
Wish the minute hand could be rewound
So much to do and so much I need to say
Will tomorrow be too late?

Feel the moment slip into the past
Like sand through an hourglass
In the madness, I guess, I just forget
To do all the things I said

Time passes by, never thought I'd wind up
One step behind, now I've made my mind up

Today, I'm gonna try a little harder
Gonna make every minute last longer
Gonna learn to forgive and forget
'Cause we don't have long, gonna make the most of it

Today, I'm gonna love my enemies
Reach out to somebody who needs me
Make a change, make the world a better place
'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late
One day too late, one day too late

Tick tock, hear my life pass by
I can't erase and I can't rewind
Of all the things I regret the most I do
Wish I'd spent more time with you

Here's my chance for a new beginning
I saved the best for a better ending
In the end I'll make it up to you
You'll see, you'll get the very best of me

Time passes by, never thought I'd wind up
One step behind, now I've made my mind up

Today, I'm gonna try a little harder
Gonna make every minute last longer
Gonna learn to forgive and forget
'Cause we don't have long, gonna make the most of it

Today, I'm gonna love my enemies
Reach out to somebody who needs me
Make a change, make the world a better place
'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late

Your time is running out
You're never gonna get it back
So make the most of every moment
Stop saving your best for last

Today, I'm gonna try a little harder
Gonna make every minute last longer
Gonna learn to forgive and forget
'Cause we don't have long, gonna make the most of it

Today, I'm gonna love my enemies
Reach out to somebody who needs me
Make a change, make the world a better place
'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late

One day too late, one day too late
One day too late, one day too late

It kind of all goes along with my message of getting out there and doing something for someone. You don't know how much time you'll have to do it. It could be your spouse, your friend, your child, your co-worker. Don't save your best for later. Give your best NOW.

Tomorrow may truly be one day too late. Do you want to live with that regret for the rest of your life? Tell the people you love how much you love them. Buy someone flowers for no reason. {Even if they're expensive!!} (Sorry, inside joke). Send someone a card. Pickup the phone. Offer a co-worker a ride. Ask someone how they're doing, and LISTEN to their answer.

Mean what you say, and for crying out loud, say what you mean. And then DO.

Thankful

I don't feel especially thankful today. I'm pretty darn crabby. Woke up that way. Coffee didn't help. Karen and Kerry helped...after I blubbered my brains out. Dealing with a lot of personal stuff that really doesn't have to do with my health (shocker) on TOP of all my health crap. Just have days where it's overload. So I decided to list some things I'm thankful for, like I used to.

1. I'm thankful that all of my senses, although not perfect, work. I can see and hear and smell and touch and taste. For that, I am grateful.

2. Kerry and Karen have been coming every Tuesday unless someone is sick. They bring food every time. (Meals). Next week they are coming their "normal" Tuesday, then Thursday they are bringing out their hairstylist to do my hair...cut, color, everything! Then SATURDAY they're coming to pick me up for a baby shower. I am SO thankful for these two women in my life. Love you girls!!!! (Emma too!)

3. I'm thankful that my niece's hubby got home safely from overseas and got to spend time with his family.

4. I'm thankful I have a healthy, brilliant, adorable, precocious child whom I love with all my heart.

5. I'm thankful that I'm not allowed to carry a concealed weapon. 'Nuff said.

A Different Kind of Mother's Day Post

Being a mom is awesome. My mom is the best mom in the the world. I'll never forget when I was in the hospital, she was there every day that my husband couldn't be...and this was 150 miles from home. She is an angel.

But I want to talk about before I became a mom, and to those people for whom Mother's Day is a painful day. I consider Mother's Day a "Hallmark Holiday." I'm all for appreciating Mothers...but I think it should be done EVERY day.

Before I had Jacob, I hated Mother's Day. Those were the days when "everyone" either had a baby or was pregnant. I wanted children so badly, and it broke my heart that I couldn't. I've always wanted a big family, and even today my heart grieves for the children I can't have.

On this day I think of those who have lost children. I can't imagine, to the depths of my soul what agony that must be. Somehow, in the back of my mind I think it's the ONE thing I couldn't handle. I can handle the trach, the MG, stuff like that, but losing a child...I think it would destroy me. So for those of you who have gone through that....I acknowledge your pain.

On this day I also think about those who are adopted, who have given up a baby for adoption (which I want to say right here and now is the most self-LESS thing a woman could do. I wouldn't be strong enough....but to carry a baby to term and then give it the gift of a life that you couldn't give...AMAZING!!) I salute you. To those searching....I encourage you and hope you find the answers you desire.

On this day I think of those whose hearts are full of love for a child they don't or can't have. I remember how this day broke my heart....how I just wanted to stay in bed, locked in the house, and not even HEAR the word "Mother" or "Mom."

On this day I think of those whose Mothers have gone on to heaven, and as painful as it may be for us down here, THEY are rejoicing with their Creator...While we mourn, they celebrate.

So wherever YOU fit on this day, remember that you DO fit. You are loved. You are someones best friend. You are someones role model. You are someones "Jesus with skin." You are special. You are exceptional. And you are a BLESSING to many. So Happy Sunday May 8.

Why I Have HOPE

You know, having a chronic illness really bites. It stinks. It's unfair. It's crappy. It's changed my life forever. But you know what? It's all good.

How can I possibly say that? Well, for one, my life is better than it was before. I have more fulfilling relationships, I'm more patient, I love more deeply and am quicker to forgive. I appreciate the beauty around me.

Before I got too sick to work, I worked 55+ hours a week. I was on call 24/7. I was stressed out more than any one human being should be. I drank too much. I was in inappropriate relationships. I didn't see the light of day much, and I didn't appreciate all that I had.

Now I look out my back window and see open fields. Every season I say is my favorite. The winter fields covered with a blanket of pure white snow...only marred by the occasional animal track. In spring, everything turns that bright yellow-green and the buds bloom on every living thing out there. Summer time, everything is lush and green and abundant. And autumn...may be my favorite. The trees are amazing, but even the fields turn yellow and purple and maroon and wheat-colored. It's simply stunning.

But do you know what gives me the most hope? Because I KNOW that someday, when this fleeting life is over, I will be perfect for eternity. Jesus said so. And I believe Him. When compared to eternity, the number of MY days here on earth is barely a drop in a bucket compared to the number of days in eternity.

So if it stinks? Oh well. If I have 20 bad days in a row? I'll have 20 MILLION great days in heaven. I will be whole. I will sing. I will swim. I will run. I will do what I have not been able to do ever...throw my little boy up in the air and catch him. I don't care how big he is!

I have bad days. Lots of them. But I have good days too. And the BEST day down here is the worst day in eternity. Because then, I shall see God face to face, and He will put His arms around me, and hopefully tell me the words I long to hear: "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

This song is by Jeremy Camp, and it's called "There Will Be A Day."

I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that tries to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
That we will enter in this rest with wonders anew

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears,
no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place,
will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we’ll hold on to you always

I know the journey seems so long
You feel your walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone

Troubled soul don’t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that’s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life’s sting

I can’t wait until that day where the very one I’ve lived for always
will wipe away the sorrow that I’ve faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery
This is why this is why I sing….

There will be a day with no more tears,
no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place,
will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face

There will be a day,
He’ll wipe away the stains,
He’ll wipe away the tears,
He’ll wipe away the tears…..there will be a day.