Well, I was going to say kiss my lilly white a$$, but I didn't want to freak anyone out. Too late. That comment would be directed to satan, the enemy of my soul. Things have gone to hell in a handbasket around here, and I'm sure he is just having a field day with that.
This is the dichotomy that is my life: My brain is normal. My heart and soul and mind are just as passionate and fiery and intelligent and loving and deep and exciting and adventerous and brave as they've always been. Maybe more so! My body is pathetic. It is wimpy and has no stamina. It betrays me. It mocks me. Physically, I am very different than I was 14 or so years ago. I used to be able to go, go, go. Now it's more like slow, slow, slow. I really can't explain the frustration of that. If you've ever had a broken leg or mono or something that has physically held you down for an extended period of time, you might understand.
It seems that ever since we left for Florida it has been one thing after another. Injury, sickness, arguments...and it's only gotten worse since we've been home. I'm thankful that the fight in me doesn't stop. It may seem to be on haitus at times, but it always comes back. I feel sorry for myself for a few days, and then pull myself up by my bootstraps and start kicking butt and taking names. If I did not have this fighting spirit, I would have died in the hospital 10 years ago. I promise you that.
See the thing is, I keep forgetting what the Bible says about who and what we fight. We DO NOT fight things of flesh and blood. (Ephesians 6). We fight against the powers of darkness. Sorry if that freaks you out, but it's true, and you need to know it so you'll know how to fight.
So to that ba$tard the devil: you will NOT win. I may be down but I AM NOT OUT. I may be upset, but I AM NOT BROKEN. You may be able to gain a tiny victory in a battle or two, but let me promise you that I WILL WIN THE WAR. God has not left me nor forsaken me, nor will he, you lying, conniving SOB. Now you've gone and pissed me off, so YOU better start watching YOUR back. My Savior has already beaten you into the ground, and I'm about ready to get out my tap shoes.
Greater is HE that is within ME than he that is in the world! (I John 1:4) You have lost.
Fighting this disease called Myasthenia Gravis (MG) with a little humor, some good friends, and a lot of help from Above.
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4 comments:
well ok then how do you really feel! LOL!
I get it!
I understand...I can honestly say that I do ...!
Put on the full Armour of God and do battle,
PRAY!PRAY! PRAY!
Now that's what I'm talking about!
Yeah, Pam, I know...I have to work on expressing myself! hehehe
Yeah, that is exactly the attitude you need. Hopefully it rubs off on me. This getting fed thru a tube in my arm is really wearing on me!
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