Change

I'm not really a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of gal.  Not that I'm NEVER spontaneous, but as a whole, change and I are not the best of friends.  I like things to stay the way they are most of the time.  Sure, there are times when things HAVE to change.

And this is perfect timing for this post, because I decided to change the design of my blog a little bit.  Now I have no idea where half the stuff went that was on here, and some things are on here taking up 200 lines. Sigh.  

As many of you know, 2 weeks before we were going to North Carolina to look at houses, I broke my foot.  BIG change for the way that vacation was going to happen for me.  Not a good, happy change.  We are, as a family, in the middle of some BIG decisions; big changes...and they seem to be evolving every day.  And it makes me very anxious.

Do you know what I find most comforting about God?  You got it.  He. Never.  Changes.

17 "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. " James 1:17

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

That means that God is the same today, right now, in my life, as he was before time began.  He is the same as He was when He dried up the Red Sea and saw the Israelites cross on dry ground.  He is the same now as He will be when Jesus returns again on that glorious day.... Hallelujah!

Friends, I don't like it when things change.  I don't like being in situations I can't control.  But the beautiful thing is, NOTHING that happens to you or to me is a surprise to God.  He is our Rock in good times and bad... In plenty or in want.  Our God is God yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

And that gives me great comfort.

My Dear Linda

Tomorrow I am going to Ann Arbor, so I probably won't post. However, I didn't want to pass up the opportunity to acknowledge that tomorrow will be one year ago that my best friend on this earth went to be with Jesus.

You can read about Linda's battle here. Linda and I had been best friends for over 12 years. We met at work (Towne Air Freight) and became fast friends. Linda was the best friend you could ever ask for. She was loyal to a fault. She was generous and kind, a wonderful listener...the kind of friend you knew you could call in the middle of the night and she wouldn't be upset. I remember doing just that when my boyfriend at the time was in a semi crash. I called her at 3 AM just to ask her to pray, and she told me to call her back as soon as I knew something.

The best part of our friendship was when we worked late second shifts at TAF. It was SO much work, but it was a blast. We always had fun. We also live in the same apartment complex, and pretty much had dinner together every night after we were both on days. We were inseparable.

I had a sister, Michelle, who was killed in a car accident when I was 16. She was 18. She and Linda were 4 months' difference in age. I told Linda she was the sister I had lost. Certainly not a replacement, but an addition that God so blessed me with. We were so close.

And now it has been a year since I have seen her or talked to her. I saw her the day before she died. I knew it wouldn't be long. She wasn't Linda anymore. I held her hand, and I just couldn't help it, I put my head down and sobbed. The grief of seeing someone you love so much suffering...it was almost more than I could bear.

I think of her every day. I still think, "Oh, I need to call Linda! She won't believe this..." But it has been 365 days since I have been able to tell her anything. I can't watch Rachael Ray on TV anymore, because Linda got me hooked, and ever time I see her I just get sad. EVERY DAY I think, "Oh, Linda would LOVE this! Linda has GOT to see this! I can't wait to tell Linda about..." And then I'm jerked back to reality and remember that she is not here. And my heart aches. When I just needed to talk to someone, I always went to Linda. With anything. With everything. Now when I just need to talk, she is not there.

The only thing that keeps me being completely swallowed by grief is that I KNOW she is in the arms of our Savior. That she has no pain, no sorrow, no tears. She is healthy and whole and as angelic there as she was on earth. What a comfort to know that she knew God, that she loved Him, and knew that He loved her. There is Hope beyond the grave.

But to my dear Linda: you were my most precious friend. You were really more like a sister. I miss you more than words can express. My heart is still broken from not having you here. I miss sharing things with you...I am crushed that Jacob will not know his Auntie Linda until we are all reunited again in heaven. You were a light on this planet that not enough people got to see. You were the best friend a person could ever ask for...and more. You were joy and goodness. I love you, my dear friend, and I miss you so very much.